I have always been someone that is very logical and tries to quantify decision-making, when possible. When weighing potential job offers in college, I used salary as a main factor in choosing which offer to accept. I didn’t really “listen to my gut”. Common life advice is to listen to your intuition, but this has never been one of my strengths.
After my son was born, I planned to go back to work after taking some time off. I worked as a contractor in the IT space, so I did not have formal maternity leave. My husband and I saved and budgeted for me to be able to take some time off from work. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, and it was almost time for me to go back to work. A recruiter I worked closely with had a few potential opportunities for me so I hopped on several calls to learn more about the different roles, responsibilities, salary/benefits and other details.
Although the salary associated with a potential new role would be a blessing to our family financially, my gut hesitated. My brain was ready to dot my i’s and cross my t’s and get started with a new job. My gut hesitated though. I was caught off guard. Besides the “when you know, you know feeling” I had with my now husband, Adam, I have not had many times in my life when I felt my gut say something so clearly. In retrospect, I know it was God whispering “you will not be happy with this decision”.
I did not seriously consider quitting my career to stay home with my son my entire pregnancy, not even once. I did not have anything against the idea, it just wasn’t something that was on my radar. Growing up, my mom worked full-time and Adam and I had been a dual-income family up until that point. Even though I didn’t absolutely love my job, I thought working until you retire was just what you do and that only rich people could afford to be single-income households. I had not considered the fact that with budgeting and planning, we could make it work on one income. Obviously going from 2 incomes to 1 income is an adjustment, but after Adam made it clear that he supported whatever I wanted to do, it was a no-brainer for me.
Once I decided that I would stay home with our son while he is little, and any future babies are little, it felt like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I felt confident in the decision and so excited to begin my chapter as a full-time mama. Even on hard days, when I yearn for adult interaction and stimulating conversation, I never regret the decision.
The past 2 years since I became a mama have flown by. I cannot imagine missing out on all of the amazing milestones and memories that happen in the baby and toddler years. I can 100% attribute this absolute 180 in the plan I thought I had for my life to God. When I became a mama, for the first time in my life I felt like I had a true purpose. Our son is a beautiful gift from God that showed me a new kind of love and gave me a purpose I never had before.
